Dads and Doulas: Working
Together
Together
When it comes to pregnancy, birth and parenting, today's father wants to share everything
with his partner. He wants to be actively involved to ease his partner's labor pain,
welcome his new baby at the moment of birth and help care for his newborn at home. A
labor doula can help the father experience this special time with confidence.
Studies show that when a doula is present at birth, women have shorter labors, fewer
medical interventions, fewer cesareans and healthier babies. Recent evidence also
suggests that when a doula provides labor support, women are more satisfied with their
experience and the mother-infant interactions are enhanced as long as two months after
birth. With doula support, fathers tend to stay more involved with their partner rather
than pull away in times of stress.
Today, a father's participation in birth preparation classes or his presence at prenatal
visits and in the delivery suite is a familiar occurrence. Yet we sometimes forget that the
expectations of his role as a "labor coach" may be difficult to fulfill. Sometimes it is also
culturally inappropriate for an expectant father to be so intimately involved in the process
of labor and birth.
The father-to-be is expected among other things to become familiar with the process and
language of birth, to understand medical procedures and hospital protocols and advocate
for his partner in an environment and culture he is usually unfamiliar with. A doula can
provide the information to help parents make appropriate decisions and facilitate
communication between the laboring woman, her partner and medical care providers.
At times a father may not understand a woman's instinctive behavior during childbirth and
may react anxiously to what a doula knows to be the normal process of birth. He may
witness his partner in pain and understandably become distressed. The doula can be
reassuring and skillfully help the mother cope with labor pain in her unique way. The
father-to-be may need to accompany his partner during surgery should a cesarean
becomes necessary. Not all fathers can realistically be expected to "coach" at this intense
level.
Many fathers are eager to be involved during labor and birth. Others, no less loving or
committed to their partner's well being, find it difficult to navigate uncharted waters. With
a doula, a father can share in the birth at the level he feels most comfortable with. The
doula's skills and knowledge can help him to feel more relaxed. If the father wants to
provide physical comfort such as back massage, change of positions, and help his partner
to stay focused during contractions, the doula can provide that guidance and make
suggestions for what may work best.
Medical professionals are responsible for monitoring labor, assessing the medical
condition of the mother and baby, and treating complications when they arise. But
childbirth is also an emotional and spiritual experience with long-term impact on the
woman's personal well being. A doula is constantly aware that the mother and her
partner will remember this experience throughout their lives. By "mothering the mother"
during childbirth the doula supports the parents in having a positive and memorable birth
experience.
The father's presence and loving support in childbirth is comforting and reassuring. The
love he shares with the mother and his child, his needs to nurture and protect his family
are priceless gifts that only he can provide. With her partner and a doula at birth a
mother can have the best of both worlds; her partner's loving care and attention and the
doula's expertise and guidance during the birth.
- Doulas of North America 2001
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